. . . But I Love You More.

Melody Annalise Allen - 6 months

Today the kids and I took Melody for her 6 month pictures. Okay, we're about a month late, but we've been a little busy. Thankfully, it is Spring Break, so we have our time freed up a bit. We also took in a showing of the Chipmunks Squeakuel at the $2 theater and Melody generally enjoyed her first movie experience. Everyone else did.

Tuesday after swim lessons we took the time to stop by our house and mow lawns, pull a few weeds, get the mail, and generally make sure it is looking good. I found myself very emotional by the time we were leaving. First of all, our house looks gorgeous. All the new paint and carpet and counters and shower are beautiful. The weather was beautiful and the view was gorgeous. I really miss that.

Kevin said we didn't sit on the porch and enjoy it enough. However, I've realized that I enjoyed the view more than I ever knew. To be able to do dishes while enjoying the snow capped mountains was something I took for granted. Now I look at window blinds or the side of an RV. I am really an outside kind of person. I love yardwork and walks and being outside improves my outlook on life tremendously. The views from our house helped me to feel like I was outside, even when I couldn't be.

I walked around our house enjoying how nice it looks while holding our precious Melody. I hugged her tight and told her how much we love her. You see, no matter how much I love and miss our house, it will never mean more to me than my children. I told Melody how we were leaving all this behind for her and how she is worth it. Oh, I shed lots of tears. Doing what is right isn't always easy, but it is always worth it.

Then I walked into our girls former room and glanced at the windowsill. There sat one of the many "staging" items. But what caught my eye was the flowers now decorating it. I began crying again as I realized Elizabeth had picked flowers from the yard and brought them up to decorate her room. She didn't say anything to me, just did it. For a room she loves, but is learning to let go of. We can look back and be sad, or we can look forward with anticipation and excitement for the future. This is what I tell myself as I encourage my daughter.

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of remodeling and moving. I've barely had time to think, much less process. Tuesday's visit to our house was a chance to begin to process and grieve leaving our house. We have loved that house and have lots of wonderful memories there that will always be with us. I love our house, but Melody, I love you more!