Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Normalcy



Normalcy. I asked Kevin how to spell it, and he replied, "we don't use that word." Most of the time our lives feel anything but normal. I've been thinking about normalcy a lot lately and how much we yearn for it. A normal life. That is what we really want for our children most of the time, especially Melody. That she would be able to live as normal of a life as possible.

The other day I mentioned catheterization to a friend and they replied, "you have to do that?" I realized that my life, our lives, Melody's life looks very normal to those around us. I've had others comment, I know a family with a spina bifida child and it is "no big deal." I'll just bet it was a pretty big deal to them. I've realized that is the role of the parents, and often especially the Mother to make our lives look like it is "no big deal" and create a "normal" life for our child, despite the abnormal circumstances we may face daily.

Now more than even I am aware of the challenges special needs parents face. I have great admiration for friends who made me believe their lives were normal and have created a normal life for their children. I spoke with a mother the other day whose own mother does not believe her grandchild has a specific diagnosed condition. While that is sad, it underscores the reality that this Mom has made their lives appear so normal, that even those fairly close to the situation can't see it. It is a double-edged sword in some ways. We make our lives appear so normal to those around us that it can be a very lonely place as no one understands the real struggles.

So, on the theme of Normalcy, here are some normal Santa pictures. Joel insisted on telling Santa an "important question." He wants the Diego Train for Christmas. Santa asked if he wanted anything else, but no, that is all. Hannah charmed Santa, and Elizabeth sat on his lap for the candy cane. Melody did not scream at all and David declared himself too big for the Big Guy's lap. These are really our first Santa pictures as most years the kids have been too terrified to go near him.

2 comments:

  1. Normal. that is a funny word. May God prevent us from ever seeking to replace being real and honest with an illusion of normalcy. I doubt your kids are normal (mine sure aren't), but they certainly are beautiful, wonderful, and blessings. I love these pictures and the reminder to pray for you, and all your children that the trials of Melody's medical condition will make you a tighter, stronger, more faith-oriented family, and that help will come along as you need it. I certainly pray that for my own family as well. Love you all.

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  2. I LOVE the Santa pics! What a great Santa and beautiful children!

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