Gestational Diabetes Class

Today I spent 2 hours in a class to learn how to manage gestational diabetes and how to use the glucose meter. It was informative, but it will take a lot of thinking about it for awhile to get the hang of it.

I am to test my blood sugar 4 times a day. First thing in the morning and then one hour after every meal. I took it for the first time after dinner, and my blood sugar was within the acceptable range. It will be interesting to see how it looks the next couple of days. The kids are intrigued with the finger prick pen, except for Hannah who won't even watch me do it. She is our squeamish one.

I think the diet is fairly manageable, except that vegetables are what I can eat unlimited amounts of and I can hardly stomach them when I am pregnant.

It is important that I keep my blood sugar under control for several reasons. One of the most important is that when Melody is born she needs surgery right away. If her blood sugars are out of control, that will delay her surgery. So... I am committed to eating healthy and helping both of us in the meantime. We'll see how it goes the next couple of days.

Medical Bills

We often get asked how we are handling our medical bills. So far the answer has been fairly long and complicated. However, as of this week I have qualified for Medi-CAL. This is retroactive back to February, and covers all pregnancy related expenses. This is a huge blessing and relief as we ran up a pretty healthy tab in just the month of May. Hopefully, the hospital will now stop calling me almost daily regarding one bill or another. This is important as we discovered Melody would not be covered at birth unless I am on Medi-CAL. Our other children are on CA Healthy Families state program, so I had assumed it would cover Melody at birth. I was wrong. With the surgeries she faces within days of life, Medi-CAL will now cover Melody's needs.

Since Kevin is self-employed, we do not have medical insurance. We have been self-pay to this point. However, we do belong to a Christian Medical Sharing program called Samaritans Ministry. Each month we send our share to someone who has a need along with a card. We have been blessed to receive shares and cards from others in the ministry to cover what we thought would be basic maternity doctor costs. Samaritans will continue to cover any bills not covered by Medi-CAL. We will continue with Samaritans for our other medical needs. We have been very impressed while being members of Samaritans. Health care in our nation needs reform, doubt about it, but no one is considering this type of option which we have found much less expensive, personal and no insurance company reduces your payment on months when they have less medical expenditures. Samaritans does! We strongly suspect the Healthy Families program will be dropped in the State budget cuts underway. If that happens, we will put our children on our Samaritans coverage as well.

Over the last couple of months we have been blessed by financial gifts from Keller Williams Cares, some dear friends doing a garage sale, and money from Samaritans for Melody's birth. We have used those funds to pay the mimimum payments required each time we have seen the doctor over the last few months. I say minimum payments, but some are quite large. We have been so thankful for these funds as they have kept us afloat financially. We are told that Loma Linda will refund any money we have paid two weeks after Melody's birth if Medi-CAL has also paid for those services. Medi-CAL should pay for everything, so we look forward to the reimbursement in September. We hope to then put that money away in an account for Melody for needs she will likely have in the future. We will also probably need to reimburse some money to Samaritans for any funds we received from them which were not used for medical expenses. It will be a lot of fun hours for me to figure it all out, but we are so thankful the money has been there when we needed it.

We are so thankful for how God has provided for our financial needs so far. The stress of those is just one more aspect of the stress of having a child with special needs. We are thankful that God uses people to bless and encourage us and provide for us financially. What would we do without one another?

Castle Park Fun

Castle Park Train

We had a fun afternoon at Castle Park with our MOMS Club friends. I did better than I thought I might, though it was very hot. We came home tired and happy. Here are a few pictures of the fun.

Joel and Hannah ride "The Whip"

Joel rides the Carousel

Elizabeth rides the Carousel

I hate to admit it, but...

I really hate to admit it, but I think I am feeling better without sugar. I've almost completely cut out the junk food/refined sugar stuff for the last few days and I seem to be feeling better. Still tired, of course, but better. Of course, getting over my cold from last week has probably helped, too.

I'll be attending the gestational diabetes class next Tuesday and getting my glucose testing items as well as diet information. We'll see what new things I find out then. I can hardly stand vegetables when I am pregnant, so that makes eating less sugar and carbs a bit tricky. There's always protein, right?

So..I'm off to get some rest. Tomorrow is another day without sugar.

Gestational Diabetes

The long and short of it is, today started with a 3 hour glucose tolerance test and about 5pm the nurse called to say, yes, you do have gestational diabetes. She was actually very surprised as my initial number was fairly low and she was sure I would test negative today. However, I seem to be hitting all the long-shot odds. I think I should go buy lottery tickets.

I arrived at 8am for my first needle stick and drinking the way too sugary drink. I was poked twice at 9am for the second blood draw and actually passed out on that one. She had to dig around for my vein, and that always makes me feel light-headed. I laid down to rest in one of the rooms and had my third blood draw and two needle sticks at 10am. We saw the doctor about 10:30 (for a 9am appointment), and then I had my final blood draw at 11am. Only one stick that time!

I was eating the snack I brought before we even hit the elevators. I do not do well without breakfast and I do not like sweet things in the morning, so it was double whammy.

Our next doctor appointments are on July 21st! One month with no doctors appointments. Yeah. At least, that was until I found out I need to attend a 2-hour gestational diabetes class next Tuesday. They will give me my glucose monitoring items then, as well as diet, etc. One week until 4 needle stick/day. I can't wait.

Returned home where our electricity was off for a scheduled maintence project. It was about 90 degrees here today, so I took my nap in an 80% house, which is not the most pleasant for me right now.

But, today is over and tomorrow is another day. Pray that I will not grow discouraged. This is just one more development that threatens to overwhelm me. Melody is due to arrive in 13 weeks! I can make it until then, right?

Counting My Blessings

I will be headed out early tomorrow to take the 3 hour glucose tolerance test. My number on the one hour was 148 and they want you under 140. I have never had gestational diabetes before, but who knows. I also have a doctor appointment at 9, so I will hopefully be done with everything soon after 11.

It is easy to get discouraged and label this the "if anything can go wrong it will" pregnancy, but I think it is time to count my blessings again. It makes me much more positive about life. :)

Today I am blessed because:
* Joel can get on the potty by himself!
* We have new blue bedding on our bed. I have been looking for a long time and found a complete set I like for just under $60 and I had a gift certificate! It was not a need, but it gives me joy.
* 3 of our 4 children are doing well in swim lessons and Joel seemed to scream a little less today.
* Melody is VERY active. It is fun to feel her move and each kick encourages me.
* Despite a difficult real estate market right now, the bills are still paid.
* On one of my most tired days last week, I had a meal prepared by a friend I was able to just thaw out and cook. It was a wonderful blessing that day.
* Elizabeth is actually enjoying doing her multiplication times tests this summer. She likes a little competition and she is improving.
* We have a brand new septic pit! Flush away.
* The sprinklers are now mostly functioning again after the septic pit installation.
* Summer time! I can rest when I need to and not have to worry about the kids schoolwork.
* I have four wonderful children who do pretty well when Mommy is resting again.
* My wonderful husband, Kevin, who encourages me to let go of my perfectionistic tendancies.
* Friends and family who encourage me when I am down.

Fathers

Our father has a stronger influence in our lives than we probably ever realize. I am so thankful for my Father. The influence he has had and continues to have in my life is something I treasure. My Dad is a quiet, unassuming man, but a man of character and integrity who is always there for us. My Dad is consistent in his faith and actions. I love you, Dad! Happy Fathers Day.

I am also incredibly grateful for my husband, who is also a wonderful Father. Raising 5 kids is not for the faint of heart and it is such a blessing to have a wonderful husband and father at my side. Kevin works hard to provide for our family. He is a wonderful example to our children. He places his wife and his children right below God in his priorities, and it shows. I love being married to a man who loves me and our children. Who will send me out for the evening without complaint and takes care of our children. Who never complains about the cleanliness of our house or the caliber of our meals, but praises me for raising our children. He tells everyone that being a full-time Mom is a harder job than his. I appreciate how he honors me. I love you Kevin, Happy Father's Day!

As we begin our adventure with spina bifida, I am so thankful Melody has Kevin for a father. I know his influence and love for her will make an incredible difference. A father who loves her already and will protect and defend her throughout her life.

Most of all I'm grateful for our heavenly Father who is the best Father of all. He is there for us when no one else is. Loves, protects, and defends us as no earthly father can. The perfect Father and example to all fathers. What a blessing to be called a child of God. I love you Lord, Happy Father's Day!

God-strong

I have been enjoying reading through The Message version of the Bible the last few years. (I am not on the bible in one year plan.) Though I love the King James, it is enjoyable to read another interpretation of the old familiar words. I was reading Zechariah 10 the other day and it ends with this verse, "But my people --oh, I'll make them strong, God strong! I have been thinking a lot about being God-strong. It reminds me where my strength comes from. So, for whatever God has planned for me tomorrow or in the future, I rest in His God-strength.

A Visit with the Neurosurgeon

Today was another doctor filled day. I'm starting to just tell whoever is watching out kids we have no idea when we'll be home. Today I dropped the kids off to play with our friends, the Gillettes at 11am. I didn't return for them until 6pm. That is quite a commitment from our wonderful friends who agree to watch our kids.

I had my glucose tolerance test first which tests for gestational diabetes. I have never had it before, so am praying I am at least spared that this time around. We'll get results at next week's appointment. You have to sit there for an hour after drinking a sugar filled drink. Kevin brought me a subway sandwich to eat after they drew my blood as I wasn't able to eat for 3 hours before.

We went to meet with the neurosurgeon, Dr. Zouros at 2pm. We FINALLY saw him at after 4pm! I'm wondering if the Lord thinks I need patience. However, we really liked him and he spent significant time with us answering all our questions, so that was great. Dr. Zouros will do Melody's repair surgery at birth. He said he usually does them within 48 hours. Ideally, he said to have them schedule my c-section on a Monday as it is easier to get the surgery done during the week. But, we know Melody might arrive on her own time table.

He explained everything about spina bifida in great detail, a lot of which we already knew from our research. He seemed like a pretty laid-back doctor and wasn't alarmist about anything. He said the repair surgery is a pretty simple surgery. It can be more difficult, depending on the size of the lesion. If it is really large and there is not enough skin & muscle around the area, he will have to consult with a plastic surgeon to cover the opening. However, this is rare and he really doesn't know the size of the lesion until Melody is born and He looks at it. They can make guesses from the ultrasound, but they are not necessarily accurate. Dr. Zouros does about 3 of these repair surgeries each month, which is quite a few. He has been at Loma Linda for 6 years, so he has obviously done many of them. He said in many places neurosurgeons will only do 3 of these each year.

When Melody is born they will place a sterile covering over the exposed part of her back and keep her on her side or stomach until the surgery. Since I will be recovering from a c-section and Melody will have limited movement, holding or nursing her will likely not be possible or very minimal until after surgery. She will need to be on her stomach for some time after surgery as well.

We did learn that after Melody is born they will do ultrasound and I think another test. They will determine if she has hydrocephaly (fluid on the brain). If she has it, Dr. Zouros will place the shunt in her body at the same time he does the repair surgery. The shunt is basically a small tube which drains excess fluid from the brain to the abdomen.

Should Dr. Zouros be unavailable for some reason, the surgery would probably be done at Children's Hospital in Orange County. This has only happened once, so we don't expect a problem, but it is nice to know there is a backup, just in case.

We were just very impressed with the doctor and he seems to really know what he is doing. It helps to know who will be doing the surgery and that we feel comfortable with him. Of course, there are risks with both surgeries, and these were discussed as well, but mostly we knew them. Overall, we feel we know what we need to know for now.

The Ranks of the Courageous

I recently read a dear friend's blog where she spoke of Courageous people. Their family has been enduring a 10+ week hospital stay with their youngest child. Through this, they've met many other courageous families who also have hospitalized children. People say "I don't know how you do it" or "I could never do that." The reality is, they do it, because they have to. It is amazing what God can help us endure when we need to.

I guess we're about to join the ranks of the courageous. It is a designation that none of us would have chosen, yet it was chosen for us. There are of course, many within the ranks of the courageous that I would say are MUCH more courageous than I. I also bristle at the thought of being called "courageous." Me, courageous? Not really, my courage is weak. But, I know that we will face the future, each day, each hour, each hurdle because we need to, for Melody's sake. We do it for all of our children, be courageous. Not because we feel courageous, but because we love them and we'd do anything for them, even attempt to be courageous.

I've also noticed that courageous people rarely do it alone. They have families and friends and often whole communities that lift them up and help them be courageous for their child. Perhaps those who help and encourage and bless these parents are truly courageous people as well.

God knew it would be hard for us to be courageous.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Yes, on my own I am not courageous, but weak. With Christ, I can be courageous through His strength. Lord, give us the courage to handle the days ahead with your help.

Legoland Sea Life Aquarium

David, Elizabeth, Sara (and the Melody belly), Hannah & Joel in front of Sea Life Aquarium.

For David's 11th birthday family activity, he chose the new aquarium next to Legoland. The still had the homeschool days discount through the end of the month and with a couple free tickets from David's lego magazines, it was within our budget, too. :)

It was a really nice day and just about my speed. I think it only took the kids about an hour to go through the whole thing the first time. It is a fun little aquarium, but it is not huge. We then returned to the van, retrieved our picnic lunch and ate on the grass in front of Legoland.

After lunch we returned to the aquarium and went through everything at least once more. David wanted to see the 15 minute video we blasted by earlier and we got in on the seahorse feeding.

It was nice to have a family day where we were not just trying to "take care of business." It seems like our lives revolve around a to do list too much these days. We did stop in Murrieta on the way home as Kevin has a condo closing escrow there tomorrow!

Here are a few more pictures from the Aquarium.

Joel carried his map everywhere. He loves to follow maps.

David and Elizabeth and a REALLY large lobster.

Elizabeth & Hannah in one of the aquariums.

David and Joel inside aquarium.

Hannah, Elizabeth and Joel with our Lego friends.

Today was another follow-up ultrasound on Melody. Praise God, we received only positive news today. Here are some things we are excited about:

- Melody was kicking her legs and moving her feet

- Melody's feet do not appear to be clubbed

- She is measuring just about right for 24 weeks (her head is a little small, but nothing concerning)

- She does not have fluid build up in her brain, which means the fluids are circulating properly

All of these things can change in the months ahead, and/or after her birth. However, we are grateful for each of them, each day we see them. I've never been so happy to see my baby kick her feet before. This means, at least for now, the nerves to Melody's legs and feet are developed and functioning. The lack of clubbed feet may mean one less surgery for her. It is quite likely that she will need shunting for fluid on the brain after her repair surgery, but we are thankful it is not already an issue.

Officially, they have placed Melody's due date on Sept. 23! Two days earlier, yippee! At this point they plan to deliver via c-section at 39 weeks, so that would be about Sept. 16th. We have an appointment on Monday with the neurosurgeon who will do Melody's surgery at birth and we have quite a list of questions for him. Also, I will have the glucose tolerance test for diabetes at that time as well.

We asked the doctor for pictures of Melody's spina bifida. It helps explain how we know she has it and what it looks like. Here is a picture of her spinal lesion (opening). It runs from the L3 vertebrae to the L5 vertebrae. Those are the final 3 vertebrae just above your tailbone. You can see her backbone running from right to left in the picture below. Then you can see a black section at the end of the backbone. The black area is the opening where her spine failed to close.

The following picture shows the membrane which it protruding from the spinal lesion. It is outlined by the measurement guides and looks kind of like an oval. From this view, the membrance sac is on top of the spinal lesion. It looks very large in comparison, but from the measurements it looks like it is about 3cm across. The membrance sac can be completely empty (best case scenario) or contain spinal cord and nerves, which is most likely. We will only know when the neurosurgeon opens this after Melody is born. Even then, he cannot tell you what every nerve is for.

May in Pictures

Hannah (back left) and Elizabeth's (next to Hannah) cheer performance, River Springs Charter School.


Elizabeth (far right) receiving her math award at the Lake Elsinore Storm baseball game.


David displays his science project. He tested his Lego Star Wars vehicles for aerodynamics.


Our new septic pit installation. What a way to spend large sums of money. But the alternative is truly stinky. It was placed under our driveway. The job is now finished, but we are waiting for the concrete to be replaced.

The drilling begins. The hole was pretty impressive. The kids took this picture while sitting in David and Joel's bedroom window. Their window box overlooks the driveway, so the view was perfect.

Wine and Cheese

Yes, you got that right, wine, not the "whine" we more commonly sample in our home. Yes, wine, the kind I know nothing about. I had my childhood friend, Jody, rolling with laughter at the thought of me at a wine tasting event.

Tonight Kevin and I attended a Wine and Cheese Tasting fund raiser for Melody. Kevin's company has a program called "Keller Williams Cares." Within days of learning of Melody's condition, a couple of ladies in his office had this fund raiser planned. We were blessed and humbled by the wonderful turnout, generous giving and encouragement. The wine (I can only assume), cheese and food was delicious and the wine auction was filled with lots of fun and laughter. Since the beginning we have known that Kevin works in an office with a lot of wonderful people. This was confirmed again tonight. It is so encouraging to know that we aren't on this journey alone, but that there are so many others to bless us and help us along the way.

Thank you Keller Williams, friends and associates. We appreciate all you did tonight and are thankful for you! We are blessed to know you all.

4 Siblings

Yes, Melody is not the only child in our lives. We are often asked how the other kids are handling everything. They are just so excited to be having a sister and will tell people when she is due, her name, etc., but that is about it. I'm finding the spina bifida really doesn't matter to them, she is still their baby sister.

David (11), as I mentioned a few days ago, is our sensitive son. He will get his emotions out or cry, often at something completely unrelated. He understands the most, but expresses it, too. You don't have to guess how he feels.

Elizabeth (8 1/2), is our creative, independent, and questioning child. You don't have to wonder how she feels or thinks as it is often yelled at you at high volume. She needs physical touch and her world can be righted with a few minutes of hugging/cuddling with Mom. She is very maternal and loves babies. She can't wait to babysit someday. She has really been looking forward to holding, loving, and feeding the new baby. We are working to prepare her that Melody might not be able to be cared for the way that she expects. She has already sewed Melody a teddy bear and if she has her way she'll pick out every one of Melody's outfits.

Hannah (7), is our studious studier. She just takes everything in. She has the hardest time expressing what she is feeling and we have to really explore sometimes to figure out what is going on inside her mind. We are learning she is also a perfectionist who hates to make mistakes. (Where could she get that from?) She loves puzzles and educational games and prefers those over just watching television. She takes things very literally, so we have to make sure we explain the meaning behind things. This is where I have to be careful what she overhears. In contrast, she is also our social child who thinks whenever two people are in a room, there must be a party.

Joel (3), he just knows he is having a baby sister named Melody and she is in Mommy's tummy. That's all! He is intense and loves sports. His favorite activity is to find every ball in the house (there are a lot!) and bounce them on the tile floors. I told the kids I'd give them a nickel for every ball they found under furniture, etc, and I paid out a lot more than I expected. I expect he'll have the hardest time when Melody arrives and he has to share Mommy's time.

Overall, the kids seem to be handling things well. I know they don't completely understand, but that is okay, we don't either. I find one of the hardest things about difficult times is having to deal not only with my own emotions, but those of my children as well. Yet, it is through those times that I really get a chance to teach my children how to handle adversity.