Happy Birthday, Mom!

Grandma Coats playing beads with Joel

Today is my Mother's birthday. I guess it is fitting to think about her on this special day.

My Mother

Other people say they won't parent like their mother did, I strive to parent my children with love and discipline as my mother did.

Other people say they have no memory books of their childhood, my mother has kept many with detailed notes of our activities and milestones.

Other people say it is stressful at my mothers house as the kids have nothing to do, my kids are lost for days in the sea of toys my mother keeps.

Other people say "if I did ____, my mother would disown me," I always knew that my mother loves me no matter what I do.

Other people say their mother won't let them forget a mistake they made, I'm not sure my mother can remember much of the bad things we did.

Other people say their mother never let them jump on the couch, my mother was the one in initiated the activity.

Other people say their mother protected them too much, my mother traveled the whole world with 3 of us in tow.

Other people have pictures of their mother, my mother is usually behind the camera.

Other people say they love their mother, by no one loves their mother as much as I do.

I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday!

Family Reunion in Pictures

Yesterday I described Family Reunion and some of the more serious or meaningful aspects. The kids had a TON of fun, too. In fact, I hardly saw the older three. We only saw Joel because we made sure one of us was following him around. I even had to sneak into David's part of the cabin with a flashlight one night just to make sure he had gone to bed. The kids can't wait for the next reunion they had so much fun. I was impressed with how well all the kids got along and played together. Enjoy!


Aunt Joan assists at the playdough table. Wherever she is, the fun is there!


Zoe and Hannah we inseperable the whole time. Find one cousin, find the other. What fun.


Sunday morning worship with several of the kids doing motions to the song.


There was serious Jedi training going on almost the whole time we were there. The boys with their light sabers had sword fights by the hour. The amazing part was I never once saw one of them get hurt. They even included Joel who ran back and forth for at least an hour and a half.



Preschooler picture! Here is a look at all the kids in our family, and this is just the preschoolers and I suspect there are several missing from this photo. I was tempted to post the whole sequence of pictures from this photo shoot as the toddlers little by little leave the photo.

Vacation - Days 5-7- Fields Family Reunion - Kerith

The Fields Family Reunion began Friday at dinner time. We spent the day enjoying the Coats family and just hanging out. Several of the family helped as needed as the McKinney's were moving in fridges, groceries and furniture up until the last minute. I think the mattresses arrived about the same time all the family did.

When Joel and I awoke from our afternoon nap, several of the family had already arrived and were unpacking and lots of kids were already at play. Over the weekend over 100 relatives were in attendance with about 45 kids. It was a blast.

One of the highlights for me was Friday at dinner. My dear Aunt Joan was very excited about something, but I had no idea what she was up to. She just wouldn't let me help clean the table! She gathered some of the relatives and presented to me my Grandmother's wedding ring. It brings tears to my eyes as I write this as it was so completely unexpected. I was named after my Grandmother, Sara Fields. Though she entered heaven when I was just 11, it is a priviledge to bear her name. I can't think of a time in my life where a gift like this would have meant more to me. Thank you, Aunt Joan, for blessing and encouraging me. I love you.

Other highlights were the family times of sharing. On Saturday morning a time was set aside for all of the cousins to share. That is my generation. It was such a blessing and encouragement to hear how each family is doing, what their kids are doing, and especially the ministries everyone is involved with. It is pretty amazing when you sit and listen to all that God is doing in and through my cousins. We were noticing how God has placed several things on the hearts of our generation. One being adoption as there are 10 adopted children in our family and I'm sure God is not done using us in that way.

The second family time of sharing was that evening for the "older" generation, the seven Fields siblings. Again, it is awesome to hear how God is working and His name being praised. There was other sharing by others who had missed out on the morning sharing time, or who had other things to share as well. At the close, our family gathered around and laid hands on me to pray for our precious Melody and the life that God is giving her. What a priviledge to have such a large, godly family who prayed for Melody's healing, but mostly that God's will would be done. We also prayed for a couple of other family needs of health and God's intervention. It is times like this that make me so thankful to be a part of this family. We spent some time singing hymns of praise and listening to the sounds of a very musical family echo throughout the lodge. I was not the only one with tearful eyes during that. Singing with the Fields Family is a precious memory.

Sunday after breakfast we all gathered in the lodge for a Sunday Worship service. We make a pretty large congregation all by ourselves. It was another wonderful time of singing and sharing by several members of the family in ministry. Lunch was the final official event of family reunion and family packed and headed home after that. There were many of us who stayed, however, and enjoyed the afternoon and evening together.

Vacation Day 3 & 4 - Red Bluff, CA to Monmouth, OR

We didn't leave our hotel until the 11am check out time. We took advantage of the hotel breakfast, twice and took the kids for a swim in the pool. I also made sure all the kids bathed before we left. Something about going to a camp with a LOT of people and very few bathrooms, sounded like I good plan. It turned out to be a good decision. But, camping is supposed to be dirty, right?

The day of driving was longer than we anticipated and we drove into Kerith about 7pm. Mom and Dad had arrived at the cabins earlier and unloaded, bought groceries and had dinner ready. It was great to see them and my brother, Tim was there as well. Our family shared the two cabins on the Kerith property. We unloaded and the kids explored the grounds before heading to bed fairly late that night.

Noah McKinney (my cousin's son), David, Joel, Hannah & Elizabeth check out the pond.

DAY 4- The big event of day 4 was the arrival of my brother Steve, Georgia, Zoe, Elliana & Jamin. They had arrived at the Portland airport the night before, but stayed in a hotel near the airport as it was so late. The kids woke them up pretty early, so they headed out and met us in the late morning. It was so fun to see them and to meet my nephew, Jamin. We enjoyed a day just hanging out as a family, taking walks, and those of us physically able helped with the many preparations going on at Kerith. The McKinney family and some relatives and friends were busily trying to get everything ready before the Fields family descended the next day. My dad helped put several of the bunk beds together and the kids helped him along with Tim and Kevin as they were able. Kevin needed to do a lot of Joel chasing while we were at Kerith as it was hard for me to keep up with him.

David, Noah & Grandpa Coats assemble bunk bed.

Grandpa, Elliana & Steve (with Jamin in tow) take a walk around Kerith.

The merry go round was a big hit! Zoe, Joel & Elizabeth this time.

Elliana, Steve, Jamin and Elizabeth in the cabin at Kerith.

Vacation Day 2 - San Jose

A Visit with my former college roommate and dear friend, Elizabeth Goulding & family.

Charity and Elizabeth Goulding & Sara

We left the MacDonalds after a nice breakfast. David was especially impressed with the "real" breakfast. Apparently the cereal and toast Mommy regularly serves is not real. We drove to San Jose where we spent the day with the Gouldings. What fun to catch up with our friends. The kids always have fun there as they have someone their age to play with. We especially enjoyed seeing Charity. She looked great. It was hard to imagine that just a few short weeks ago she was fighting for her life. What a blessing to see her healthy and enjoying her family again.

Cutie Charity at play

Joel and Harrison playing. (Joel is not napping, that is for sure. :)

The Goulding girls have been quite educated from Charity's hospital stay as well as being on the receiving end of lots of fun medical equipment. There was a lot of playing doctor going on that day.

Patient Hannah and Nurse Ellie

Hannah, Chloe, Elizabeth & Ellie at play

David and Tucker spent much of the day with a box of magic tricks. They practiced and had to put on a show before we could leave.

David and Tucker

Watching the magic show - Ellie, Hannah, Elizabeth G. with Charity, Tucker, Harrison, Elizabeth A., Joel & Chloe

We left the Gouldings in the late afternoon and began our drive to Red Bluff, CA. We had a hotel room for the night reserved there. We basically crashed when we arrived. The kids took longer than we would have liked to settle down, but that is the downside of being all in one room.

A Long Day of Doctor's Visits

Melody Annalise Allen - 31 weeks - What a sweet profile!
This morning began with an ultrasound. They continue to check Melody's brain, lesion and extremeties. They said she is about 3 pounds now and that she has been growing well. Her weight gain has tapered off a bit, but her body is growing right on target, so they are not too worried. I attribute both her and my lack of weight gain to the blasted gestational diabetes dietary regimen.

Melody is still moving her legs. She is very active and the doctor even commented that she wouldn't hold still long enough for him to look at things and measure. She still has no evidence of club feet and has a mild amount of hydrocepaly (water on the brain). They measured 12mm on the 4th ventricle of her brain. The doctor said a baby without spina bifida would probably be under 10, but they don't consider it too enlarged until it is over 15mm.

I thought the doctor today was the best so far at accurately using the ultrasound for diagnosis. I think he may be the doctor in this office with the most spina bifida knowledge as well. He said the lesion is from L4 - S3, which would be a little lower than the L3 we were told before and lower is better.

After the ultrasound I had my regular check up. The only thing really noteworthy during that time was the doctor brought up doing the c-section before 39 weeks. In order to do that, they'd have to do an amnio to assess lung maturity. If Melody's lungs are mature enough, they would do the c-section the next day, and she could have surgery the next. This will be a possible scenario as we approach the beginning of September, but we'll just have to see how things go.

After my appointment, we spent some time with my Case Worker/Nurse, who has been just awesome throughout this whole prenancy. She can move mountains, usually has time to answer questions and is just a wonderful, compassionate lady. She took my glucose numbers from my glucose meter and gave me some suggestions on working with the gestational diabetes. She also is working on getting us a consult with the NICU neonatologist. I hope that will be our final consult before Melody's birth, but it is helpful to know what to expect. We ended up leaving the Advanced Fetal Medicine Office at about 12:30pm, 4 hours later!

We had time to get a bite to eat before heading to our next appointment. We met with the Spina Bifida pediatrician at the Spina Bifida Clinic for a consult. He ended up talking with us for over an hour and a half and explained everything and anything about spina bifida. We also met the Nurse/Case Manager who we will work for Melody's care. Dr. Rao was excellent. He explained everything really clearly and has an amazing knowledge of spina bifida. I can't possibly tell it all here as he sent us home with 5 pages of notes/diagrams he had drawn. However, overall it was very encouraging and answered all of our questions to date. He had a ton of statistics, so that was helpful as well.

Dr. Rao will see Melody in the hospital several times after birth, before and after her surgery. We will then go to the spina bifida clinic at 2 weeks, 3 months, and then every 3 months for the first year. After that it will be every 6 months until she is older and then yearly checkups. Spina Bifida Clinic is held on Wednesdays and you are there for several hours, but all four doctors you will need come to see Melody and consult together.

Kevin said he was most impressed to learn that there is a surgery they can do which allows them to have complete control over their bowels. They hook one end of the colon up to an opening inside the belly button. The patient then puts water into the opening and voile, the bowels empty out the other end! A reverse enema. Okay, I know, too much information. However, I can't tell you how much it meant to us to know that they have this last resort available. If Melody does not have enough nerves/sensation to control her bowels, this is available and will allow her to be much more independent throughout her life.

Due to the location of Melody's lesion, the muscles, bladder, bowel and skin will be affected to some extent. The muscle control can be normal below the lesion, weak or totally paralyzed. Usually it is somewhere in between. He said usually about 9 months you really know the extent of muscle control. Surgeries and physical therapy are usually around this time if necessary. The bladder and bowels are the same nerve bundles, and are usually affected 95% of the time. We'll also have to watch carefully as she may or may not have full sensation in her skin, and can easily damage the skin if she can't feel the harm. She'll, of course, be able to tell us this as she gets older.

There is an 80% chance she'll need a shunt for the hydrocephaly. But then, that means a 20% chance she won't. The good news to me was 60% of the time, these shunts are in for life with no problems.

We are praying that she'll be in the 5% with bladder and bowel function and that she'll be in the 20% who do not need shunts. We know that odds don't matter to God, He can do anything. We will trust Him if He chooses not to answer our prayers. But, these are the desires of our hearts.

There is so much more information rattling around in my head, but I think this is enough for now. I'll try and remember to post things as they stand out to me. We'll return to the doctor in 2 weeks for a non-stress test, repeat ultrasound, and checkup. I'll have non-stress tests on Monday and Thursday from then on. Can't wait! I finally made it home about 4pm. What a day.

Vacation Day 1

Tomorrow we are off to the doctor for the day. We have an ultrasound at 8:30am and then a doctor appointment. Then, at 2pm we have a consultation with the spina bifida pediatrician. We don't plan to come home in between as doctor appointments are usually 3-4 hours. So, we have 2 people lined up tomorrow to come watch the kids. Tomorrow I'll try and let you know what we find out.

But, for today, I'm recapping our vacation. We left Monday morning, July 6 about 7:30 am (we had intended to leave at 6am) and drove to Gilroy, CA. We made really good time and the kids did really well in the car. It helped that we took Daddy's newer van with the DVD player. So the kids enjoyed watching DVD's the whole way. What a treat! We arrived at Scott and Lisa MacDonald's around 2:30pm. We had a wonderful time catching up with them and meeting Samantha for the first time. I had been up for her baby shower, about 2 years ago. The kids enjoyed their pool and Elizabeth swam for 3 hours straight. We got in on the birthday celebration for Scott as well.

Dinner time at the MacDonalds - Kevin, David, Hannah, Scott, Samantha, Elizabeth & Joel

David and Samantha

Samantha, Lisa & Sara

Hannah, Samantha & Elizabeth

Fatherly Wisdom

During our recent family reunion we enjoyed spending time with my immediate family as well. Someone had remarked to my Dad that they wished the doctors had not told us about Melody's spina bifida. My father said to us, I'm glad they did as you are learning so much through this experience. I would never want to deprive you of all that you are learning through this experience.

I have pondered my Dad's comments a lot this past week. My earthly father is so wise and loves me so much and he can see the benefit of the trials I'm going through. How much more can my Heavenly Father, who is infinitely more wise and loves me abundantly more use the trials in my life for His glory? No matter what the future holds, this experience has taught us so much already and forever impacted the way we see the world. Yes, God could take away all our trials and pain, but is that what a truly wise and loving Father would do?

15 Years!

15 years ago today I married my wonderful husband. What a blessing our marriage has been. I thank God daily for my supportive and encouraging husband. He rarely complains about anything and his expectations for me are a lot more realistic than mine are of myself. He takes such great care of all of us and I am thankful Melody has Kevin as her Daddy with the challenges she may face. We were talking about the next 15 years while we were out to dinner tonight. We realized in 15 years, Joel will have just graduated from High School and Melody will be almost 15! Wow, talk about putting life into perspective.

We were able to enjoy dinner at Mimi's tonight and then parked on a hilltop overlooking the city lights to just chat. Since I can't eat sugar, dessert was out and since I can't walk a lot, most other options were out as well. I am feeling a lot better and able to walk without pain, but I am hesitant to walk too much and reinjure whatever muscle was hurting the last few days. The quiet time to connect and pray was wonderful.

We have a friend who has been living with our family since August, Carla. She is engaged to be married in March. The entire time she has been with us she has been working two jobs to make ends meet. We have asked her to trade babysitting for rent the next few months, and she thankfully agreed! She has been able to quit one job and so we are blessed to have a live-in babysitter at least one night a week for the next few months. The kids love her and cheers go up all around when they hear Miss Carla will be staying with them. Carla made it possible for us to go out tonight.

100% Better

I woke up this morning feeling 100% better. Thanks to all of you who prayed. I really did not want to have to make a trip to the doctors today, so I am very thankful. I have been trying to take it easy so as not to reaggravate the muscle. Kevin did lots of the lifting and moving things around this morning and the kids have been picking up everything for me and moving the laundry from washer to dryer, etc. What a wonderful family!

Today we did laundry, put away much of the vacation mess, and buried Elizabeth's pet hamster, Patunia. She actually took it quite well and is now eagerly planning her next pet. I have gently informed her with the impending arrival of Melody, we will not be taking on any new pets anytime soon. I think a new baby is more than enough to deal with for the next few months.

Here is my immediate family at family reunion. I swiped this from my cousin's facebook page as I haven't had time to get my pictures off my camera. Maybe tomorrow?

Nancy (Fields) Coats Family

David and Nancy Coats

Jamin, Georgia, Steve, Elliana & Zoe Coats

Elizabeth, Hannah, David, Joel, Kevin & Sara (Coats) Allen

Tim Coats

Home, Sweet Home

Yes, it is good to be home. We made it tonight around 5pm, just in time for Kevin to watch the Baseball All-Star Game, his favorite game of the year. The van is unloaded and the piles of laundry await in the garage. We had a wonderful time with family and the kids were pretty good travelers. Yesterday we drove from Monmouth, OR to Sacramento, which seemed like a very long day. Today we drove home from Sacramento which was a little shorter. There is so much to share about our trip and pictures to add, but I am too tired tonight.

We are thankful Melody behaved herself on our trip and that we had safe travels. I have been in a lot of pain the last 3 days and barely able to walk. Today was better, but still not great. I think I have pulled a muscle just below my "Melody Belly," as it only hurts when I step with my right foot, not my left. Unless I have a remarkable recovery tonight, I'll be calling the nurse in the morning just to be sure. Melody is still kicking around as much as ever, and I know the pain is not contractions. So, my best guess is a pulled muscle. I did sleep better in the hotel last night as they had a really comfy bed. My own bed should help tonight. Speaking of which, I should probably get headed there. There is nothing like your own bed.

Oregon Bound

We are heading out tomorrow morning for a trip to Oregon. We'll be seeing friends in Gilroy and San Jose on the way. We'll arrive in Monmouth, Oregon on Wednesday where my (Sara's) family is having a family reunion. My immediate family will be there for the first few days, then on Friday - Sunday there is a Fields Family Reunion. (My Mom's family) We are expecting over 100 people with around 65 kids, so it should be wonderful fun. I can't wait to see everyone and to meet my nephew, Jamin.

The doctor advised us not to go in the event that Melody decides to arrive early. However, I am only 29 weeks, so we should be fine. Trusting God with Melody's life is going to be an on-going struggle, so I might as well start now. So, instead of worrying, we are trusting God to keep her safe and going. I have hospitals along our route with NICU's all mapped out.

Please pray for safe travels and that Melody would not make an early entrance into the world. 11 weeks early is a huge problem, with or without spina bifida.

I'll update this blog when we return, unless I get really inspired along the way.

4th of July Fun

We had a wonderful afternoon at Mom Allen's. The kids loved playing in the community pool there. Here are a few pictures of the fun. I didn't get the camera out until after Keith, Stacy, Branden & Bailey had left, however, so no pictures of the cousins.

Hannah's "torpedo arms" - pretty amazing if you consider she wouldn't even get her head wet a few weeks ago.

David would spend his whole time with one of these.

Hannah, Daddy and Joel

Joel loved the wading pool. Just his size.

Daddy prepares to launch Elizabeth. She is our little fish who would swim all day if we let her.

Hope you had a wonderful 4th, too!

Theology

Who is God? Theology is the study of God. I've noticed during times of crisis, most people have a theology. Even those I had no idea have a belief in God have shared spiritual insights with me. I find it fascinating, but I have also found it troubling as many of the platitudes you hear during difficult times really don't hold up theologically. Do we really know who God is? I suppose it is normal to ponder who God is and how He fits into circumstances of life.

I've heard "God only gives special needs kids to special families." This sounds nice and is intended as a compliment to Kevin and I. However, is this theologically sound? If God only gave kids to people who could "handle them" our world would be a lot different. No abortion, no child abuse, no teenage parents.

Yet, if I completely understood God and could concisely describe Him in easily understood terms, He would cease to be God. The very definition of God is greater than our limited understanding will ever comprehend. Our church is reading and discussing The Knowledge of the Holy by A.W. Tozer this summer and I am finding the study timely for the thoughts in my mind.

Though my mind grapples with the seemingly contradictory aspects of God, I find my heart has peace. Intellectually I know I will never fully comprehend God, for if I did, He would no longer be God. In my heart, I have a peace that passes all understanding. A peace that God is bigger than any thought, imagination or description. A peace that my awesome God has all the details of my life under control and planned for His glory.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.